I've not been feeling great the last couple of days, and missed a workout the other day.  After a couple of days rest I am planning to get back to it today.  I still don't feel 100%, but I can't leave it any longer.

Francesca was out with Arthur and Ruby yesterday, Arthur forgot to take his medication..... whoa, suddenly we get a reminder of how things used to be, I don't think anyone can truly appreciate what its like to have a child with ADHD unless they spent a day trying to control one, the things he gets up to are unbelievable and almost evil.  If you didn't understand ADHD, or if there was no such diagnosis, then i could understand why other people would look at his behaviour and think he was just an awful child potentially with bad parents!

To get a vague idea of what it is like, imagine a toddler that can walk fast and run, that has full verbal communication, smart comments, and that cannot be put in a push chair, argues back all the time, and acts fully on impulse.  Heres a few of the behaviours witnessed yesterday:

Attempting to steal on numerous occasions
Lying about the attempts
Repeatedly doing things a security guard had told him not to
Hitting his mum's hand when having his hand held in an attempt to restrain him somewhat
Self admittedly causing extra reasons to hit his mum's hand because he was so frustrated
constantly arguing back
constantly ignoring commands
running off and looking at anything he chooses
climbing on/under anything in a store that he can

The relentlessness of his behaviours are so tiring, and when you throw a 4 month old baby in the mix it is NOT easy.  Arthur always regrets his behaviours and the end of the day, and often breaks down in tears crying "why do I do this, I am so stupid, I hate myself, I wish i could be reborn without ADHD".  We have to wipe the slate clean everyday, it would not be possible to dwell on his behaviours, if we did he would be constantly grounded and never have any food or something!

Now the really really hard part about all this is when you remind yourself that this is just a little boy, a 9 year old boy! he was born with his condition, and when you look back you can see it throughout his life.  The hard part about something like ADHD is that its not an obvious disability, he can walk, talk, he is very clever, and a very handsome boy.... people find it so hard to separate from that and see that what he has IS a disability.  No body would expect a blind child to read them a printed book, no one would expect a physically disabled child to do the 100m sprint, just because it is all in the brain with no immediately obvious outward sign, it is no different.  you cannot expect a child with ADHD to behave perfectly, nor can you punish him because of it.

BUT, here lies the difficultly, you shouldn't punish a child for doing something they really cannot help, but you must lead the way and teach them social rules.... if Arthur behaves the way he does when he is legally responsible for himself he will get in BIG trouble.  So we cannot simply ignore his behaviours, and he certainly doesn't take any notice of soft punishments or a good talking to!  The answer is to punish the major behaviours which must be curbed: stealing, hitting etc but the rest only need gentle guidance, and modification with an award system to reward positive behaviours. 


I'll come back to this at some point, and probably edit it a bit.